I feel so honoured each time I teach, truly. At the beginning of a class, when we gather and take a moment to settle, when the plan has not yet expanded there is a welling up in my chest that feels like a small explosion. I now believe that what I'm feeling is love. I have interpreted this feeling as a gnawing anxiety; am I fit to teach? yet I know that my alignment is precise, my methodology carefully handed on to me by my previous gurus, I know that I am fit to teach.
Then I thought perhaps it was fear, that I am not following my true calling, that perhaps introspection will take me where I need to be, but I have followed this emotion and no that's not it either.
And then I remembered the words of Shantideva, author of 'The Way of the Boddhisattva' where he emphasises the important role of fear in our path toward liberation: 'this human life indeed is no time for complacency', and I realise that this is what I'm feeling: that each class is an opportunity, an opportunity to be fully present, to communicate with intensity what I know to be true.
I would be delighted for serious students to join me on my next retreat. I shall be leading a course at Emerson College from mid April and would LOVE for you to be there, please keep your eye on my schedule and contact me to book